Robert could make an Olympic sport

of dwelling in his garden, amongst the tools.

Alas, there are few worthy competitors

in the Bobshed.

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haiku of slight repentance

Ginger wine: not mine
But I drank you anyway
Buy you back... later

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Haiku on the Glory of England

Went to make a musical:
"Win In '66"
Couldn't remember the score

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I love TETRIS so much

I could write a column

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My next book will be short:

Memoirs of an Amnesiac

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I like to keep up with breaking news

So I know when waves happen

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I'm single

and ready to eat Pringles

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Served Caesar salad for lunch today

but Ides rather a sandwich

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Does the fence-builders’ union

still create a picket line?

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BMW are in hot water

after using a toddler in a simulated collision.

A spokesman said - "at the time, it seemed reasonable to perform a crèche test, but we regret not using a dummy."

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